The Tale of the Wayward Tooth

Temporary crown fell off. Again. Called the dentist’s office. I said, “The saga continues.” The receptionist asked, “Is this Karen?” I started laughing. I don’t even need to introduce myself there anymore. 🙂

Scott said I could call my next book “The Tale of the Wayward Tooth.” I told that to the dental assistant who glued me back together. She suggested I call it “A Crown for Christmas.” 🙂

Permanent tooth arriving next week. Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!
– Karen


Misheard at the Dentist’s Office

At the dentist’s yesterday morning for my temporary crown. The radio is playing while I sit in the chair. I hear news that I find deeply troubling. Misty is there, getting me ready, and I repeat what I heard to her…
Karen: There is a shortage of Krispy Kremes!
Misty: (laughing) No, there’s a shortage of Christmas trees.
Karen: (relieved) Oh. Okay.

Baby Jesus Lies in a Manger in the Ford Car Showroom

So yesterday I take my car in for an oil change at the local Ford dealership. The air is really bad in the waiting area – it has the same smell as rubber glue. It takes an hour and a half for them to accomplish the oil change. At some point – wanting to get away from the bad air – I wander onto the sales floor. You probably all can imagine what this looks like – shiny new cars, shiny floors, shiny windows. And in the middle of all this is a huge nativity scene. It’s unexpected and takes me off guard. I stop and look it over – trying to make sense of a nativity scene in the middle of all these shiny new cars. It does not compute. And there’s Mary and Joseph and the wise guys kneeling next to Baby Jesus. And Jesus has a full head of hair and is half as big as Mary, and I’m trying to imagine her birthing this humongous “infant.” I’m thinking “let the poor woman lie down, for crying out loud – she just gave birth to a fifty pound Jesus.”

Anyway. It was an odd experience. Had to share.

Merry Christmas!

The Reading Glasses Hat Trick

So I had three pairs of reading glasses. Lost pairs #1 and #2 months ago. Bought pair #4. Lost pair #3 a couple days ago – right after I bought pair #4. Just now – as I was sitting in my office – the thought came to me to look in this pile of papers beside my desk – I thought I’d remembered hearing something drop from my desk the other day – maybe, I thought, it was pair #3. So I sort of pushed things aside and found pair #2. No. I don’t know. It is beyond me at this point. Maybe Life is playing some kind of weird hat trick with me…? I’ll probably find pair #3 in the refrigerator or something. I’ve found socks in there before.

Alrighty. That is all. Carry on then…

Just Another Day in America

I’ve been debating whether or not to share this – it’s kind of embarrassing. I think my Republican friends will appreciate the humor in this, though, and I think my Democrat friends will get a good guffaw from it, too. Yea and verily, may rich and poor, conservative and liberal, white and black, gay and straight and purple and pink polka dotted and zebra-striped come together in unity at this time to laugh at another classic Karen Moment.

So we’re in this diner, and I notice a couple of motorcyclists sitting at another table. Their jackets are festooned in badges. The woman has a badge for Canada – which, I love Canada. And I notice the man has a badge for Obama – and I’m thinking these are my people, right?

So as they’re leaving I say to the man: I love everything you’ve got going on with those badges.

And the man says, “Really? I wasn’t so sure the people on the west coast would appreciate this one,” and he points to the Obama badge.

I tell him I love that one, and he seems really surprised and pleased by this. And then I look closer and see that the badge actually says, “Obama: The biggest bada$$ mistake America ever made.”

And I say, “Oh. I voted for him.”

And he says, “Yeah.” And gives me the sweetest smile – kind of disappointed and sad – but really sweet. And then he says – and this is genuine, “But you have a really good day, okay?”

And I wish him a really good day back.

And so it goes. Another day in America. 🙂

– Karen



We are living in wonky times…

Dear Humoristian hooligans,

We are living in wonky times, to be sure. But we shall not be ascared of FOX “news” by night, not for the tweets that flieth by day; Nor for the loose cannon that rolls over all diplomatic negotiations in darkness; nor for the really insane cabinet nominations that wasteth at noonday. Because you have made actual news your source of information, and love your guide, you shall be a source of truth and good will to all you meet. You will be met with kindness and honesty, you will bring laughter to those in desperate need of a good guffaw, and a helping hand to those who need a lift up.

It’s going to be alright. Maybe. You might as well laugh.