“You were our family’s last hope!”


Youngest son (age 21) asks me when I’m going to be famous. I tell him I don’t see that happening in my future. His mouth falls open and he gets this look of shock on his face. “WHAT?!” he says, “You were our family’s last hope! I was planning to ride on your coattails!!”

Yeah. I’ve been cracking up all day.



Insanity in Malheur

As co-founder of the one true fallacious faith of Humoristianity, I am certainly not immune to the humor of the doings at Malheur.

But when I saw the YouTube clip of the high school girl in nearby Burns, Oregon, sharing how scared the militants had made her, I stopped laughing for a moment.

The militants who have taken over Malheur are criminals – pure and simple – they’ve stolen property paid for by tax-payers and owned by the public – used tax-payer owned vehicles, gotten into government computers, rifled through files with the names and addresses of government employees, and threatened government workers. They’ve told us they are “fighting for their freedom” – but they’ve shown us what really drives them is greed. They are loud-mouthed, posing bullies. They are taking what they have no right to take – including the sense of security and safety of the law-abiding citizens who live near Malheur. These militants are not “patriots.” They are self-absorbed, self-centered terrorists with no apparent regard for anyone but themselves and their own, and with a sense of entitlement that is beyond comprehension.

If these bullies had been of a different race or religion do you think they would have been allowed to go on this long? It is insane.

Clowns in camo, camouflaged clowns
bullies and drama queens
with egos without bounds

Warblers, buffleheads, grossbeaks,
cranes, sparrows, pintails, and geese
were formidable foes for the militant geeks

I am rooting for the birds.