Just Another Day in America

I’ve been debating whether or not to share this – it’s kind of embarrassing. I think my Republican friends will appreciate the humor in this, though, and I think my Democrat friends will get a good guffaw from it, too. Yea and verily, may rich and poor, conservative and liberal, white and black, gay and straight and purple and pink polka dotted and zebra-striped come together in unity at this time to laugh at another classic Karen Moment.

So we’re in this diner, and I notice a couple of motorcyclists sitting at another table. Their jackets are festooned in badges. The woman has a badge for Canada – which, I love Canada. And I notice the man has a badge for Obama – and I’m thinking these are my people, right?

So as they’re leaving I say to the man: I love everything you’ve got going on with those badges.

And the man says, “Really? I wasn’t so sure the people on the west coast would appreciate this one,” and he points to the Obama badge.

I tell him I love that one, and he seems really surprised and pleased by this. And then I look closer and see that the badge actually says, “Obama: The biggest bada$$ mistake America ever made.”

And I say, “Oh. I voted for him.”

And he says, “Yeah.” And gives me the sweetest smile – kind of disappointed and sad – but really sweet. And then he says – and this is genuine, “But you have a really good day, okay?”

And I wish him a really good day back.

And so it goes. Another day in America. 🙂

– Karen

America

 

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Moz’s Trip to the Dentist

Took Moz (88 years, 10 months) to the dentist this afternoon, and ohmygawd – it was like going to a comedy club! We’re filling out all the forms in the waiting area, and Moz has to put her signature on another one. “Again?!” she asks, exasperated. “Behave yourself,” I tell her, laughing, and she says, “Don’t make me laugh – I’m trying to sign this thing.” She finishes signing the paper and hands it back to me. “You know,” she says, “I’ll get all these papers signed, and then next week I’ll die.”

Missy, the dental lady comes out to get her, and Moz gets up to follow her with her walker. “Watch out,” she says, “I don’t have a license for this thing.” Missy starts cracking up.

Missy gets Moz situated in the dental chair, and turns the light on to start working on her teeth. Moz tells her to feel free to pluck any chin hairs she finds. Missy starts laughing. She hands Moz a glass of water to rinse. She asks Moz how she’s doing. Moz tells her, “I’m full of it.” Missy grins, and asks, “You’re full of it?” Moz says, “Water, that is.” And Missy cracks up.

Missy and Moz find out they were born three days apart at the end of December. “When you’re born at the end of the year, everyone always makes you a year older than you are,” Moz complains. And Missy adds, “Merry Christmas and happy birthday!” Then they discover they’re both left-handed, too!

Then Hansrolf comes in. Hansrolf is my favoritest dentist, ever. He’s like a stand-up comic. He and Moz immediately take to each other. Moz tells him she came here for the entertainment. She tells Hansrolf he should give Missy a raise. Hansrolf says what he needs to do is get all of us out of there – he is out-numbered and we are ganging up on him. Moz responds with some smartassery, and then she notes, “I probably shouldn’t have said that, eh?” And Hansrolf says, “Not just before I start working on your teeth, no.” Moz is still embarrassed about her chin hairs, and Hansrolf grins and says, “Don’t worry about any chin hairs. We’ll just work around them if we find any.”

They end by telling each other Norwegian jokes. Here’s Moz’s: “Ole says his wife is an angel. Sven tells Ole, ‘You’re lucky. My wife hasn’t died, yet.'” Hansrolf laughed so hard he almost fell off his chair. 🙂