Just Another Day in America

I’ve been debating whether or not to share this – it’s kind of embarrassing. I think my Republican friends will appreciate the humor in this, though, and I think my Democrat friends will get a good guffaw from it, too. Yea and verily, may rich and poor, conservative and liberal, white and black, gay and straight and purple and pink polka dotted and zebra-striped come together in unity at this time to laugh at another classic Karen Moment.

So we’re in this diner, and I notice a couple of motorcyclists sitting at another table. Their jackets are festooned in badges. The woman has a badge for Canada – which, I love Canada. And I notice the man has a badge for Obama – and I’m thinking these are my people, right?

So as they’re leaving I say to the man: I love everything you’ve got going on with those badges.

And the man says, “Really? I wasn’t so sure the people on the west coast would appreciate this one,” and he points to the Obama badge.

I tell him I love that one, and he seems really surprised and pleased by this. And then I look closer and see that the badge actually says, “Obama: The biggest bada$$ mistake America ever made.”

And I say, “Oh. I voted for him.”

And he says, “Yeah.” And gives me the sweetest smile – kind of disappointed and sad – but really sweet. And then he says – and this is genuine, “But you have a really good day, okay?”

And I wish him a really good day back.

And so it goes. Another day in America. 🙂

– Karen

America

 

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We are living in wonky times…

Dear Humoristian hooligans,

We are living in wonky times, to be sure. But we shall not be ascared of FOX “news” by night, not for the tweets that flieth by day; Nor for the loose cannon that rolls over all diplomatic negotiations in darkness; nor for the really insane cabinet nominations that wasteth at noonday. Because you have made actual news your source of information, and love your guide, you shall be a source of truth and good will to all you meet. You will be met with kindness and honesty, you will bring laughter to those in desperate need of a good guffaw, and a helping hand to those who need a lift up.

It’s going to be alright. Maybe. You might as well laugh.

Wingoof

President Wingoov Sounds Kind of Nice

Yes, my friends, I believe the time has come to announce my candidacy for President of these great United State of America. I know most of you have… umm… that is to say, a great many of you… well, certainly some of you… or… I’m pretty sure there’s got to be at least one crackpot… I mean… individual… who has long awaited this announcement. So I give you leave to blow your kazoo and doff your groucho glasses and throw festive confetti (no, no, not the shredded newspapers from the bottom of the hamster cage … surely you can find something else…oh, never mind…) into the air with wild abandon, for now is the time for celebration. THE WINGOOV HAS ARRIVED.

After recent… hell, after YEARS… of unholy abuse (I was going to write “unholy shenanigans” – but “shenanigans” is too awesome a word to use on the likes of politicians) by the people we elected to represent us and serve us, I have decided to do my humble part and throw my Groucho glasses into the ring. I mean. Seriously. How much worse could I be than the fellows we’ve had in there for the last 30 years?

Let’s just put out there right from the get-go where I stand on the issues, shall we?

The Economy
“Trickle down” is a big, fat crock. It’s never worked, and it never will. History has shown that whenever we try to solve our nation’s economic woes by shoveling out billions of dollars to CEOs, that money is rarely going to make it to the rest of us. I know. Hard to believe. But there you have it: The top 2% actually seem to like being in the top 2%.

The Environment
I ain’t ascared to say it: Global warming is real, and humans are responsible for it. We need to find and use alternative forms of energy to fossil fuels, and we need to do this, like, now. If we can’t work together and do this we are going to find ourselves fricaseed in a massive methane burp. Moving on…

Bigotry is Balderdash
No, It is not cool to be a bigot, and it is not cool to be a bully. No one should be denied the rights everyone enjoys just because of her or his gender, sexual orientation, religion, non-religion, ethnicity, or race. Let’s treat each other fairly. This is America, dammit.

Health Insurance
Health insurance should be a basic right. People shouldn’t be denied the health care they need just because they’re poor or unemployed. Health care shouldn’t be tied in to a person’s job. Everyone should have access to it. Duh, right?

Okay, this is a start. Got to get to work.

I really wish our current senators felt the same way.

307

Bias Against Boomers

A couple weeks before the Washington State caucuses, phone calls started coming to our house from the Bernie Sanders folks. I am – and have been since the day he announced his candidacy – a Bernie Sanders supporter. I have contributed to his campaign.Preached the good word of Bernie Sanders. Started a Facebook group in support of him. But these callers never wanted to speak to me. They always asked if my oldest son was at home. One time one of the callers asked me a series of questions and when she found out my age, she said, “Thank you,” and hung up on me. Finally, a few days before the caucus, when one of the callers asked for my oldest son, I was able to say before she hung up, “We are all Bernie Sanders supporters here.” She laughed with relief – and surprise.

The Millennials do not own Bernie Sanders.

Hillary Clinton does not own Boomer women.

Although I’d vote, without hesitation, for Hillary Clinton over any of the Republican candidates, for sure – I’m still rooting for Bernie Sanders to win the Democratic nomination.

Boomers for Bernie

 

 

Rosalita Ipswich O’Molenovich Got Her First Bumper Sticker Today

I bought Rosalita Ipswich O’Molenovich on the last day of 2015. For almost two months I have kept her bumper sticker-free. But today Rosalita got her first sticker… which, for a car, is kind of like getting your ears pierced or getting your first tattoo. It is a big deal.

She seems to like it. 🙂

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

Rosalita’s first bumper sticker.

 

An Ode to the Bern

And now I give you an ode to Bernie –

You’ll rarely see his mug on FOX
or sitting in a corporate box.
He doesn’t hang out on CNBC,
or get paid by corporations for a speaker’s fee.
The media owned by the insanely rich
isn’t the outlet of choice for his political pitch.
For corporate media has become old news,
and other newer avenues, he does choose.
He emails, blogs, twitters, and does the Eff Bee –
he’s gone directly to the people, for all to see
that there’s another direction for us to turn –
let’s share the wealth and feel the Bern!
– Karen Wingoof

 

 

Guess the Quote: Carter or Trump?

Karen’s quick quiz: How well can you match the quotes below to the person who said them? You only have two people from which to choose your answer – Jimmy Carter and Donald Trump – so you have a fifty-fifty chance on each one. How hard could it be, right? You get five points for each correct answer.  If you score 50 points you are, like, a genius, or something. If you score less than 50 points you are something, for sure. (Answers at the bottom.)

  1. We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon.”
  2. Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.”
  3. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.”
  4. We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”
  5. When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
  6. “Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy, because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.”
  7. “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
  8. “I think there ought to be a strict separation or wall built between our religious faith and practice of political authority in office. I don’t think the President of the United States should extol Christianity if he happens to be a Christian at the expense of Judaism, Islam or other faiths.”
  9. “…complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.”
  10. “…we have to go and see Bill Gates, and a lot of different people, that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them, and maybe in certain areas closing that internet up in some way.”

Answers: 1) Carter 2) Trump 3) Carter 4) Carter 5) Trump 6) Carter 7) Trump 8) Carter 9) Trump 10) Trump

Quick Survey (a highly scientific study, taking into consideration the demographics of our readership, and correlated with the general population – not at all): In your opinion, which of the two men below best demonstrates the teachings of Jesus? Which would you rather see sitting behind the President’s desk in the Oval Office? Which, do you think, has most shown compassion, empathy, honor, generosity, and kindness towards his fellow citizens, and mankind?

carter and trump