Sports commentator: The referee makes the final decision on spotifications.
Me: Spotifications? Is this, like, an actual thing? (Quick google.)
Spotification (Urban Dictionary): The act of formulating and conceiving the best Spotify playlist.
Huh. I had no idea that refs were involved in this.
-KMT
I have already voted in the midterm elections. And now I sit, cocooned in the recliner, watching Hallmark Christmas movies. There are no political ads on the Hallmark channel. I feel like I’m visiting a faraway foreign land. I’m being gently anesthetized by sparkling Christmas glitter, close-ups of pleasant faces, and an endless stream of background music sung by sweet-voiced sopranos, accompanied by a pianist playing only major chords.
I think I can watch Hallmark movies all night.
I tell my husband this, and he says, “Oh God.”
And then I mention to my husband, that the smile the leading man just gave his romantic lead was a little creepy, wasn’t it? And… all these characters in this movie were invited to this inn by an unknown benefactor… doesn’t that sound like the beginning of a murder mystery?
My husband and I begin creating an alternative plot for this movie. The husband says that “Chucky” will make an appearance. I say there’re going to be Christmas clowns – and not the cheery kind. And, I say, the Hallmark music is going to fade into something sinister with lots of minor chords.
We have fun with this for a while. And then I get back to the business of finishing this Hallmark movie. It turns out the leading man isn’t a serial killer, after all. The leading lady finds love. No scary clowns make an appearance. The benefactress has a happy connection to the other characters. Everybody survives. The major chords continue to the end. All ends well.
Another Hallmark movie begins. I make it about five minutes before I reach my Hallmark movie saturation point and need to turn the TV off. I’m ready to return to reality now. But I feel strangely refreshed – like I’ve just returned from a vacation on a happy, hermetically-sealed island.
Okay. Back to the political ads.
-KMT
humoristianity 