Okay, here’s an interesting thing. My husband bought me this really nifty Norwegian wool sweater for Christmas. I love buttoning myself into it. I feel cozy in there. But as soon as I put it on the first time I felt a kind of transformation going on in me. I felt like I was becoming Mrs. Santa Claus. And I liked it! What in the heck?! I’ve known for some time that I am no longer a dewy-eyed ingenue… but… when did I start finding pleasure in the idea of being Mrs. Santa Claus? When did the idea of being the cheery wish-granting Fairy Godmother, instead of the lithe and winsome Cinderella, start appealing to me? When, exactly, did I stop wanting to play the part of Maria, and instead want to play the part of the Mother Superior and sing Climb Every Mountain? I’m kind of surprised by my attitude, to tell you the truth. But I’m sitting here with a smile on my face as I imagine zapping Cinderella into her new ball gown with a wave of my wand… I mean… how cool would that be?!
T’was Two Weeks Afore Christmas
T’was two weeks afore Christmas and all through Eff Bee
not a creature was stirring – not a she, he, or me
We were prostrate and spent from the holiday bustle
not a twitch could be seen from the teeniest muscle.
We lay all unblinking in our respective beds
while visions of gift-wrapping swirled through our heads
And clad in our jammies and our way cool madcaps
we had the vague hopeful hope our bodies would take naps.
Holiday jangles and jingles pinged through our brains –
Presley, Crosby, and Mathis taking us down memory lanes –
and would we remember every member to be gifted?
We mentally went through our lists, hoping none were omitted.
There were homes to be decorated and cards to be sent,
parties, caroling, and cookie-making, and we hadn’t made a dent.
But with a collective sigh we remembered there and then
that it’s really about good will to all creatures, women, and men.
And so our thoughts finally settled and our bodies relaxed
as we thought of those we love and a world festooned in pax.
With our hearts wrapped in kindness and the world as our ‘hood
We’re all brethren and sistren – and verily, it’s all good!
– Karen Molenaar Terrell, from A Poem Lives On My Windowsill (available on Amazon.com)
Karen’s quick quiz: How well can you match the quotes below to the person who said them? You only have two people from which to choose your answer – Jimmy Carter and Donald Trump – so you have a fifty-fifty chance on each one. How hard could it be, right? You get five points for each correct answer. If you score 50 points you are, like, a genius, or something. If you score less than 50 points you are something, for sure. (Answers at the bottom.)
- “We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon.”
- “Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game.”
- “We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.”
- “We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.”
- “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
- “Human rights is the soul of our foreign policy, because human rights is the very soul of our sense of nationhood.”
- “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
- “I think there ought to be a strict separation or wall built between our religious faith and practice of political authority in office. I don’t think the President of the United States should extol Christianity if he happens to be a Christian at the expense of Judaism, Islam or other faiths.”
- “…complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.”
- “…we have to go and see Bill Gates, and a lot of different people, that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them, and maybe in certain areas closing that internet up in some way.”
Answers: 1) Carter 2) Trump 3) Carter 4) Carter 5) Trump 6) Carter 7) Trump 8) Carter 9) Trump 10) Trump
Quick Survey (a highly scientific study, taking into consideration the demographics of our readership, and correlated with the general population – not at all): In your opinion, which of the two men below best demonstrates the teachings of Jesus? Which would you rather see sitting behind the President’s desk in the Oval Office? Which, do you think, has most shown compassion, empathy, honor, generosity, and kindness towards his fellow citizens, and mankind?
My dear Humoristians,
Today may those traveling through a wasteland of fear, self-righteous indignation, hate, and hurt feelings be transformed by your pugnacious joy. May all who pass you return your smile, and keep on smiling throughout the day. May you laugh and learn from your mistakes (I mean… if you should happen to make any 🙂 ) – and may you give grace to those around you who goof now and then, too…because… you know… goofs happen. May you find the beauty and good in each moment. And may you know how much you are loved. Because you are. For sure.
Go out there and make ’em laugh!