Dear Humoristian hooligans:
The world is in desperate need of a good laugh. As enlistees in the Humoristian militia I exhort you to utilize the full arsenal of guffaws at your disposal. Yes, my friends, it is time to bring out the Groucho glasses, the Who’s-On-First shtick, Monty Python’s swallows and the machine that goes ping. It is time to (pause for dramatic effect) unleash the kazoos! Your mission? To keep a wave of laughter circling the globe 24-7. May the farce be with you.
– Karen Wingoof
How my Australian friends see the world. I’m pretty sure. Right?
So Austin, my Twitter trainer-tutor (yeah, trying saying THAT bit really fast), in the strange and wonderful new (for me) land of Twitterville – advises me to post some of my old blog posts today and “add the hashtag #MondayBlogs.” And I will do this, for sure. As soon as I figure out what in the flying manatee he means by this. I am too embarrassed to ask him. But my goal is to figure it out by the end of the day and perform this action on my Twitter account. How hard could it be, right? I am a college-educated woman, after all. Cum Laude even. Which… okay, so that’s maybe not as good as Magna and Summa, but still… how much laude does a person need to figure this out? How hard could it be, right?
I shall keep you posted.
This is all Austin’s fault. I’m pretty sure. Up until a week ago I had only peeked into my Twitter account maybe a handful of times in all the years I’ve had one. I had – still have, really – no idea how to tweet or twitter.
My husband works as the photo editor for a local newspaper – he’s way ahead of me in Twittering. Tweeting. Twitting? Every now and then he lets me know that a photo he took got, like, a thousand twits… I mean…tweets…I mean… twitter-hits? And I feel all proud of him and proud to be married to him – because a thousand Twitter-hits sounds like an awfully big accomplishment. But I don’t know, really, what it MEANS, you know? I have a feeling I’m going to be learning, though.
And it’s all Austin Hodgens’s (my Elements of Style book tells me that only Jesus gets to have a plural kind of apostrophe for ownership – it would be correct for me to write Jesus’ to show ownership – but not correct for me to write Hodgens’ – which, seems kind of weird to me, but… moving on…) fault. In the last couple of days I’ve received several notices that I have been mentioned in Twitter comments and have acquired new followers. Thinking, “What the heck…?” I have had reason to log into my Twitter account for the first time in years to see what in the hell is going on there, and find Austin’s name popping up an awful lot at the scene of the crime.
I have somehow managed to acquire 39 followers and 3 likes. Which… is just… it’s akin to giving birth to a baby and not even realizing I was pregnant. Okay, it’s not really like that. But… it’s kind of baffling to me. And weirdly gratifying. After a little Twitter searching I now know enough about twittering… tweeting…twitting?… to know that 39 followers is nothing in the grand scheme of things – I just searched “Barack Obama” and was happy to discover I’m already following him – I have no recollection of doing this – and he has 70.2 million followers. That’s pretty cool. (Donald Trump, by the way, has 6.2 million followers – which I find scary – are there really 6.2 million people who want to follow this twit?!)
Anyway. Thanks to my new friend, Austin, I shall, perhaps, spend more time now in nurturing and cultivating my Twitter account.
Thanks a lot, Austin. I mean that sincerely. You have opened up a whole ‘nother world to me.
There’s one in every crowd, right?