Baby Jesus Lies in a Manger in the Ford Car Showroom

So yesterday I take my car in for an oil change at the local Ford dealership. The air is really bad in the waiting area – it has the same smell as rubber glue. It takes an hour and a half for them to accomplish the oil change. At some point – wanting to get away from the bad air – I wander onto the sales floor. You probably all can imagine what this looks like – shiny new cars, shiny floors, shiny windows. And in the middle of all this is a huge nativity scene. It’s unexpected and takes me off guard. I stop and look it over – trying to make sense of a nativity scene in the middle of all these shiny new cars. It does not compute. And there’s Mary and Joseph and the wise guys kneeling next to Baby Jesus. And Jesus has a full head of hair and is half as big as Mary, and I’m trying to imagine her birthing this humongous “infant.” I’m thinking “let the poor woman lie down, for crying out loud – she just gave birth to a fifty pound Jesus.”

Anyway. It was an odd experience. Had to share.

Merry Christmas!
Karen

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T’was Two Weeks Afore Christmas

T’was Two Weeks Afore Christmas

T’was two weeks afore Christmas and all through Eff Bee
not a creature was stirring – not a she, he, or me
We were prostrate and spent from the holiday bustle
not a twitch could be seen from the teeniest muscle.

We lay all unblinking in our respective beds
while visions of gift-wrapping swirled through our heads
And clad in our jammies and our way cool madcaps
we had the vague hopeful hope our bodies would take naps.

Holiday jangles and jingles pinged through our brains –
Presley, Crosby, and Mathis taking us down memory lanes –
and would we remember every member to be gifted?
We mentally went through our lists, hoping none were omitted.

There were homes to be decorated and cards to be sent,
parties, caroling, and cookie-making, and we hadn’t made a dent.
But with a collective sigh we remembered there and then
that it’s really about good will to all creatures, women, and men.

And so our thoughts finally settled and our bodies relaxed
as we thought of those we love and a world festooned in pax.
With our hearts wrapped in kindness and the world as our ‘hood
We’re all brethren and sistren – and verily, it’s all good!

– Karen Molenaar Terrell, from A Poem Lives On My Windowsill (available on Amazon.com)

green shoes Christmas

http://www.amazon.com/Poem-Lives-On-My-Windowsill/dp/1519361130

 

http://www.amazon.com/Poem-Lives-On-My-Windowsill/dp/1519361130

It is difficult to make a man out of drizzle…

We have rain here – loads of drizzly, sloshy, mellow wet. I rather like it.  The beaches and trails are quiet and peaceful – only the hardy (and those of us who are a little crazy) are out there slogging and dancing around in it. But it does make it hard to build a snowman. It is difficult to make a man out of drizzle. Which is why my little snowman from Rite Aid which I have owned, lo, these many years, is so precious to me. Every year I dig him out of wherever I have stashed him – this year it was in a cranny in the garage – and brush him off, fluff out his snowman belly, twist his head around so it’s facing forward, and stick him on the doorstep. I love his cheerful smile – no matter where he’s been stowed, packed, and crammed, he always comes out wearing that irrepressible grin…

– Karen Molenaar Terrell

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T’was two weeks afore Christmas…

 

T’was two weeks afore Christmas and all through Eff Bee
not a creature was stirring – not a she, he, or me
We were prostrate and spent from the holiday bustle
not a twitch could be seen from the teeniest muscle.

 

We lay all unblinking in our respective beds
while visions of gift-wrapping swirled through our heads
And clad in our jammies and our way cool madcaps
we had the vague hopeful hope our bodies would take naps.

 

Holiday jangles and jingles pinged through our brains –
Presley, Crosby, and Mathis taking us down memory lanes –
and would we remember every member to be gifted?
We mentally went through our lists, hoping none were omitted

 

There were homes to be decorated and cards to be sent
parties, caroling, and cookie-making, and we hadn’t made a dent.
But with a collective sigh we remembered there and then
that it’s really about good will to all creatures, women, and men.

 

And so our thoughts finally settled and our bodies relaxed
as we thought of those we love and a world festooned in pax.
With our hearts wrapped in kindness and the world as our ‘hood
We’re all brethren and sistern – and verily, It’s all good! 🙂

 

– Karen Molenaar Terrell

 

Ode to Black Friday

I do not like Black Friday, sir

I do not like the brrr, grrr, whirr

I do not like to fight over socks,

I do not like to get crammed in a box

store,  you will not see me at the Mall

I do not like it, no, not at all.

The crazy, scrambling, hunter’s race

Doesn’t fit my ambling, gatherer’s pace

I like to feel, I like to sniff

I like to take my time and if

I take more time than Sally and Sam

It’s the way I shop, and it works for me, ma’am.

So you will not find me camped outside the store

You will not find me standing at dawn at the door

You will not find me wedged in the mall’s lot

Or crammed in traffic, with wares newly-bought.

For I do not like Black Friday, friend.

Well, except online shopping maybe – they’ll send.

–original poem by Karen “Wingoov” Molenaar Terrell

Waiting for Christmas…

The kitsch and spangles and baubles and bangles,

And department store Santa, just really can’ta

Seem to bring me the spirit of Christmas.

And I’ve been waiting to feel it – the real Christmas spirit

Hoping it’d come by now.

The stockings are stuffed, the tree is all buffed,

The cookies are baked and frosted and fluffed –

But there’s still something missing – a feeling, a tingling

that’s supposed to come every Christmas.

Except…

Maybe that Christmas feeling, that energy and tingling

Is something I can have every day –

It doesn’t depend on spangles, or jingle-bell jangles

Or jolly men dressed all in red.

It comes in the sharing of laughter and caring

And the comfort in words with love said:

To all – Peace! Joy! Hope!

Every moment of every day.

—–

Dear Humoristian hooligans,

May your days be merry and bright and filled with humorosity. May you shine your light of joy and good humor upon all you meet. May you feel the joy of life and be-ing every moment of every day.

Life bless you richly, my friends!

Karen

Duct Tape and Bubble Wrap for the Holidays

Duct tape. I just love saying those two words: Duct tape. When you pronounce it, do you actually say the “t” at the end of duct? Or do you pronounce it “duck “ tape?  I myself find that alternating pronunciations works well for me.

On a recent outing to the local supermarket, I was elated to discover that duct tape now comes in assorted colors, and that you can even buy rolls of it with pretty little designs imprinted on it. This was something that some friends and I had actually been talking about inventing a year ago, but never pursued. We’d probably be raking in the bucks now, though, if we’d followed through on that idea. I mean, just think of it! Now one doesn’t need to actually buy any wrapping paper at all! We can wrap all our presents in the glories of festive duct tape, and call it good.

Of course, when wrapping a present in duct tape you might want to place a strip of bubble wrap in between the tape and the gift – this will help prevent the duct tape from sticking to the gift in a most unattractive fashion, and it will also give the recipient of your gift the pleasure of more bubble wrap to pop during the holidays. In fact. Hell. Just forget the gift altogether, and decorate a huge wad of bubble wrap in fancy duct tape, and watch your loved one’s eyes shine as she rips away the tape to find bubble wrap waiting for her eager fingers!

Let’s make the holidays easy on ourselves this year, my friends.  No more hours spent methodically cutting up wrapping paper to just the right size – which, in the end, never seems to be just the right size. No more getting pieces of transparent tape stuck in places you never intended for it to go. No more fussing with ribbons and bows. No more worrying about how to wrap things like basketballs and guitars.  Bring the magic of duct tape and bubble wrap into your homes this Christmas, and enjoy the season like never before!