What is this Twitter of Which You Speak?

This is all Austin’s fault. I’m pretty sure. Up until a week ago I had only peeked into my Twitter account maybe a handful of times in all the years I’ve had one. I had – still have, really – no idea how to tweet or twitter.

My husband works as the photo editor for a local newspaper – he’s way ahead of me in Twittering. Tweeting. Twitting? Every now and then he lets me know that a photo he took got, like, a thousand twits… I mean…tweets…I mean… twitter-hits? And I feel all proud of him and proud to be married to him – because a thousand Twitter-hits sounds like an awfully big accomplishment. But I don’t know, really, what it MEANS, you know? I have a feeling I’m going to be learning, though.

And it’s all Austin Hodgens’s (my Elements of Style book tells me that only Jesus gets to have a plural kind of apostrophe for ownership – it would be correct for me to write Jesus’ to show ownership – but not correct for me to write Hodgens’ – which, seems kind of weird to me, but… moving on…) fault. In the last couple of days I’ve received several notices that I have been mentioned in Twitter comments and have acquired new followers. Thinking, “What the heck…?” I have had reason to log into my Twitter account for the first time in years to see what in the hell is going on there, and find Austin’s name popping up an awful lot at the scene of the crime.

I have somehow managed to acquire 39 followers and 3 likes. Which… is just… it’s akin to giving birth to a baby and not even realizing I was pregnant. Okay, it’s not really like that. But… it’s kind of baffling to me. And weirdly gratifying. After a little Twitter searching I now know enough about twittering… tweeting…twitting?… to know that 39 followers is nothing in the grand scheme of things –  I just searched “Barack Obama” and was happy to discover I’m already following him – I have no recollection of doing this – and he has 70.2 million followers. That’s pretty cool.  (Donald Trump, by the way, has 6.2 million followers – which I find scary – are there really 6.2 million people who want to follow this twit?!)

Anyway. Thanks to my new friend, Austin, I shall, perhaps, spend more time now in nurturing and cultivating my Twitter account.

Thanks a lot, Austin. I mean that sincerely. You have opened up a whole ‘nother world to me.

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