I resolve to learn the fine art of being slippery when it comes to resolutions – i.e., I will whole-heartedly endeavor to couch all my words in ways that will make it easy for me to get around actually making resolutions.  With this guiding resolution in mind –

1) I resolve to be more patient with the people I want to be more patient with.

2) I resolve to get back that girlish figure – similar to the one I had five minutes ago, before I got it in my noggin that it might be a good idea  to eat that entire box of chocolate raspberry truffles.  (Note that “girlish” is a relative term here, and can easily be got around when it comes to someone trying to pin me down with specifics  –  I mean, I very carefully did not say MY girlish figure [which might actually require some work on my part] – but THAT girlish figure – and for all you know I could be describing Buddy Hackett’s girlish figure here. I know. I’m in awe of my lack of resolution, too).

3) I resolve to cut down on the chocolate and Starbucks, and might even think about going a day or two or three without either.

4) I resolve to think about giving more to the causes that matter, and less to those that don’t. (In other words, politicians and political parties probably shouldn’t waste any more of their money sending me fliers and calling my home.)

5) Segueing from #4: I resolve to really put more thought into my bid for presidency of this greatish nation (ha! – try saying THAT really fast – “greatish nation”).

6) I resolve to know when I have nothing more to say about resolutions and to just shut up.

Wishing all you wonderful Humoristian hooligans a most spectacular new year! May your resolutions be merry and light, and may your new year be bright with possibilities!

–Popellina Karen Wingoov

P.S. The Humoristian Chronicles can now be found in print form on! Yee haw!


6 thoughts on “Resolutions

  1. I think you have made some pretty dramatic promises here for someone who has vowed to avoid making promises … I am going to be simpler with mine:

    #1 New art adventures

    #2 Lean towards more healthy choices

    I think that is it, basically, for me. Although I suppose I could write paragraphs under each one; but the beauty of it is that, if I don’t, I can claim to have fulfilled both of them this time next year … I say, keep your resolutions as vague as possible!

    I wish you the most wonderful of New Year’s, Ms. Popellina!

    • Awww… thank you, Ms Willow! And I wish you lots of new art adventures and healthy choices, and lots of everything that brings you joy (so long as it doesn’t land you in the pogie)!

      So glad to know you!

      Bring it on, 2012!!!

  2. I only have one resolution. It’s the same one I make every year. I always keep it too.

    Drum roll for impending profundity…

    Always do the best you can.

    That’s it. Pretty anticlimactic, huh! I believe in being realistic!

  3. Ah, if only there were more of you in the world…

    I never make resolutions. They’re too easy to break and then I feel bad about breaking them. Besides which, every day I work, I break a promise to my dad not to work at this very job. So I’ve already out the whammy on myself… Isn’t guilt a wonderful thing?

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